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Nine reasons to support our village’s surveillance system

June 9, 2009
by

In an effort to take a bite out of crime, the Los Altos City Council, as reported by the Merc, was scheduled to vote tonight on a video surveillance system consisting of 10-20 cameras throughout downtown Los Altos.  As of press time, the proposal looked likely to fail, with a crestfallen Ron Packard predicting the city council would not advance his dystopian police state.

This would be tragic.

Here are the nine reasons that I support our village’s surveillance system:

9. Someone has to challenge Town Tube’s monopoly on incredibly boring Los Altos video
8. They will add hours of footage for future “best of” Jon and Kevin Buurma clip reel
7. No more gay pride parades, because gays hate being on camera
6. This wasteful expenditure will distract residents from the $100 million the city’s planning to waste on the new civic center
5. JEWS ‘VS’ MORMONS PWNAGE STREET FIGHT MUST SEE FULL VID
4. Our 40-foot swath of lawn chairs on State Street will be safe from vandals this fall
3. Happy will no longer need to bring his shiv when cutting through Consignment Center alley during 2am Safeway runs.
2. There are acres of possibilities: a lot can go wrong.
1. Upskirts

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kev permalink
    June 10, 2009 6:45 am

    11. Occasional scenes of Bryan D. hurling in the bushes outside 1st and Main. An event which he has perfected a few dress rehearsals.

  2. joc permalink
    June 15, 2009 7:46 am

    Well, it could be interesting archival footage to store at the los altos history house, right? especially the scene outside the frozen yogurt store, which sometimes stays open unti 10 pm!

  3. Kev permalink
    July 13, 2009 7:21 am

    I thought of another one. The cameo footage at the Art and Wine festival could be pretty entertaining. To see all of the people who came back for the most popular weekend of the year in Los Altos. You could actually make a good drinking game out of that…

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